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“When I say that I don’t like them, it because I want you to think that I don’t like them”, said The Belgian. At this stage no one could be sure of what he was going on about. At this The President violently woke from his almost perpetual slumber and started screeching about some unwelcome guests that had infiltrated the headquarters. It took quite a while for us to explain to him the nature of dreams and the fact that they are not “a little bit like wizardry”, but eventually he got the concept and slumped back down to his, clearly disturbing dream world.

What none of us suspected at that time was that there were intruders in the headquarters and they had been camped out in the back of a Ford Cortina, parked in the middle of the hallway, for quite a few days. Needless to say no one had noticed the vehicle as we generally try to bypass the hallway by using any window available; in fact most of the windows hadn’t seen any glass in many years. It transpired that the car/horseless carriage was a cunning ruse that the Havisocks were attempting to perpetrate. Their plan was to fill a car with Greeks and drive it through the door of the HQ in an enactment of the classic tale of Troy. Unfortunately they had not counted for the fact that a Ford Cortina boot cannot be opened from the inside and consequently the five burly Greeks that were holed up in the car had long since died of a combination of starvation and lack of oxygen.

Now we had a problem in that the HQ was beginning to smell much like how I suspect Spain smells. The Belgian suggested that he has “a guy” he knows that deals with this kind of thing, so we got him on the case with alacrity. Next thing we know is that the car had been replaced with a small void in space time where nothing exists. The Belgian explained that the easiest way of removing all trace of a corpse was to remove the physical existence of anything to do with it. Ah well, I thought, some things are best left to the professionals.