The worrying tendency to leave the country was gripping our Society. Several of our members made for the Continent, including such destinations as former Prussia (Berlin - a matter of propaganda) and the capital of the Austro-Hungarian Empire (no longer extant, due to some troubles in Serbia - but this should be disregarded, due to matters of a personal nature (boredom is more intense in foreign places)). Ultimately, this would be enough reason for a skewed court-martial directed by the power-hungry members of the rest of the Society. For now, we would just like to stress the fact that pork was frowned upon.

Next in line to the throne (The Secretary insisted upon protocol) was a local mendicant (we would have given him some coinage, but he refused our pounds) kindly insisted on reaching for our money-holders. He reckoned he'd get a few bob out of it (little did he know - our "ancestors" owned a painting by Braighel, a 14th-century epigone of the great Brough-all the Elder).

Speaking about a credit crisis gone wrong (the poor always win). It all came down to a soap-box chase in Easington. Firstly, the racing-box was sabotaged (we don't know who was responsible, but it wasn't a man with a pale complexion, a beard and three pustules on his right buttock), but we don't really know that. Secondly there were insects (swarmey). Thirdly, the banks had closed for the day (they didn't listen to our theories of capitalism. What comes down must go up). Fourthly, the whole thing was a set-up to trap the local pervert (he had been promised Grandmothers and ale pies).

The other members of our distinguished Society attempted to disguise their inability to plan and construct an appropriate vehicle for this race, but they made up for this impotent theatre by their strength in boasting skills. It all ended in a huge pile of... sorrow. All our hopes were pinned on the success of the Viennese fellow travelers (a malicious bunch indeed). Needless to say, they disappointed us: "I am not going to lie to you, but the Austrians are a Master People. We should obey them."

If this were a story, I would have regurgitated up by now.